Checking In, Resolutions, and January's Goal

I've been unable to log in the past few weeks between house sitting in the middle of nowhere and rebuilding our new home! I may disappear again, but I thought I'd let everyone know how things are going:

5 Bites: Not going well. I'm firmly in the realm of Intuitive Eating right now. Between holiday eating, a bachelorette party, having no kitchen due to the move and construction, and lots of alcohol, I haven't been able to maintain 5 Bites and my happiness. On the other hand, I've done a great job of listening to my body and limiting my portions to the range between what my body needs for fuel and what I want emotionally.

Weight: 189.4! Whoo! Through intuitive eating and happy portion control, I've broken 190. This is a really big deal, as I don't know the last time I was below 190. Perhaps my high school graduation?

Body Fat: 29.6%, At the beginning of November I was at 31.3%. Almost 2% during the biggest eating months of the year isn't too shabby in my book.

Weight-related Resolution: Get down to 150. It's a lot of weight to lose, and if it doesn't happen, I won't be heartbroken, but I like having a goal to work towards. I'll be very angry with myself if I'm not down to 175 by the end of the year.  I spent most of this year gaining weight as I experimented with different diets and have spent the last few months finally losing all that dieting weight. This year will be different. I'll lose weight the whole year, instead of gaining and playing catch up. I simply need to lose 1.3 pounds per month to get below 175. At that rate I could do 5 Bites one weekend a month and just work hard to maintain with Intuitive Eating the remainder of the time and hit my goal.

Blog-related Resolution: I'd like to get back in to posting a bit more often, both on Ditch the Excuses and on Homesteading in the Dust (my blog about homesteading in Southern Arizona). In addition, I think I'd like to start setting monthly weight loss goals. The November Challenge was great and very motivating, though a little stressful.

January's Goal: I want to be at 185 by the end of January. I lost almost 8 pounds in November, so 4.4 pounds in January should be more than reasonable.

As construction (most of which I'm doing myself) is still underway, I probably won't be checking in again until mid January.

Measurement Monday: November 24th, 2014

This week was  once again mostly about Intuitive Eating, but I certainly managed better than last week.

Abdomen: 42.75 (-.15)
Waist: 33.5 (-.3)
Bust: 43 (0)
Chest: 36.2 (-.6)
Hip: 45.25 (-.25)
Left Arm: 14.1 (-.2)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 15.75 (-.25)
Left Thigh: 26.7 (-.1)
Right Arm: 14 (.3)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (0)
Right Calf: 15.8 (-.4)
Right Thigh: 26.5 (-.2)
Neck: 14.2 (0)
Current Weight: 191.8 pounds (-1.2)
Inches lost: -2.15
Running total: -3.45, -4.2 pounds

I finally am at the weight I started dieting at! Whoo!

6.8 pounds down, 13.4 to go! Will I reach my goal by the end of November? Nope. At least I've lost almost 7 pounds this month!

Breakthrough!

I'm almost in the 180s! I woke up this morning, hopped on the scale expecting to be disappointed because I ate nothing but salt yesterday and low and behold I was down to 191.4! I can't remember the last time I weighed that. Possibly at my high school graduation?

7.2 pounds down, 12.8 pounds to go! 12.8 pounds in 11 days may be overly optimistic, but I'll certainly start December in the 180s!

Measurement Monday: November 17th, 2014

This week was more a regression to Intuitive Eating than 5 Bites.

Abdomen: 42.9 (-.1)
Waist: 33.8 (.3)
Bust: 43 (-.5)
Chest: 36.8 (.2)
Hip: 45.5 (-.4)
Left Arm: 14.3 (.3)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (.2)
Left Thigh: 26.8 (0)
Right Arm: 13.7 (-.6)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (0)
Right Calf: 16.2 (.4)
Right Thigh: 26.7 (0)
Neck: 14.2 (-.1)
Current Weight: 193.0 pounds (0)
Inches lost: -.3
Running total: -1.3, -3 pounds

No weight lost. Bummer. At least I lost some inches. Next week will be better!

5.6 pounds down, 14.6 to go!

Measurement Monday: November 10th, 2014

Not a great 5 Bites week, but I tried. Regardless, my weight when down and that's the most important part.

Abdomen: 43.0 (-.6)
Waist: 33.5 (-.25)
Bust: 43.5 (0)
Chest: 36.5 (-.9)
Hip: 45.9 (.2)
Left Arm: 14 (-.5)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 15.8 (-.2)
Left Thigh: 26.8 (.3)
Right Arm: 14.3 (.3)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (.5)
Right Calf: 15.8 (-.3)
Right Thigh: 26.7 (-.6)
Neck: 14.3 (.1)
Current Weight: 193.0 pounds (-1.4)
Inches lost: -1.95
Running total: -1.6, -3 pounds

I don't have a lot to say about this week. I over ate a few times, and it's obvious what effect that has on my weight loss. At least I lost almost 2 inches this week, and I'm thrilled to be only 1.2 pounds from my starting weight.

5.6 pounds down, 14.6 to go!

Week 1 of The November Challenge

One week down and I've lost 3.8 pounds. It's ridiculous, but I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping to lose 5 or 6 pounds this week.

I think my brain is broken. Almost 4 pounds in a week is crazy! I have no reason to be disappointed.

Maybe Monday will be better.

End Goal: May 1st, 2015

I think setting a solid goal will help,so here it is:

I want to be 135 pounds by May 1st.

58 pounds in 25 weeks.

58 pounds in 176 days.

The weight tracking app I use has a trend line, and predicts your estimated goal deadline. At the start of my 5 Bites journey it predicted I'd be at my goal weight August 20th. Now it's down to July 13th. I love seeing the date get closer to my actual goal date.

I want to be 164 by February 2nd.

I'm so excited!

Measurement Monday: November 3rd, 2014

So here are the results from my first full week on 5 Bites.

Abdomen: 43.6 (-.2)
Waist: 33.75 (-.25)
Bust: 43.5 (-1)
Chest: 37.4 (+.4)
Hip: 45.7 (-.1)
Left Arm: 14.5 (+.3)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 26.5 (-1)
Right Arm: 14.0 (-.1)
Right Forearm: 10 (-.5)
Right Calf: 16.1 (+.3)
Right Thigh: 27.25 (0)
Neck: 14.2 (-.2)
Current Weight: 194.4 pounds (-3.8)
Inches lost: -2.35
Running total: +.35, -1.6 pounds

I finally am at the weight I started dieting at! Whoo!

Well, I lost almost 4 pounds. That's a lot for one week! That's more than I used to lose in a month. I can't wait to see how I do on my 20 pounds in November goal. It's feeling more and more attainable!

4 pounds down, 16 to go!

November Challenge

I'm part of a November Challenge with a 5 Bites group on Facebook. The main goal is to lose 25 pounds in November. While that would be amazing (I'd weigh less than I did when I graduated high school almost 4 years ago), there's something about losing that much weight in a month that my mind says isn't healthy. Perhaps it's the years of "slow and steady weight loss is longer lasting" stuck in my head, I realize that that isn't true, and there's a ton of research to back it up, but I'm still leary. Plus, Thanksgiving and my birthday happen in November. I love food, obviously, and want to be able to enjoy family events.

I drank yesterday, so my weight went up this morning. I was at 198 when I weighed in, though I know if it weren't for the booze I'd likely be at 194. Taking in to account the bloating from the alcohol, I'm going to commit to this challenge. I want to weigh 173 by December 1st. Along with my weekly weigh ins, I'll be posting how much more weight I have to lose.

A Goal that will Stick

I downloaded a cool new weight tracker app. What I like about it is that you can set a goal and it will create a trend line after a few weigh-ins that will show your predicted success date.

My new goal is to reach 135 by May 1st.

As of today, the app thinks it will take me until May 18th. I can't wait to prove it wrong!

5 Bites: Day 3

Well, I'm down 2.2 pounds in three days, and an inch and a half off my abdomen. HOLY COW.

I don't have much else to say...

This rapid feedback is great.

Meassurement Monday: October 27th, 2014

So I've had two days of the modified 5 Bites. Here are the results of trying really hard to monitor my eating, listening to my body, and doing my version of the 5 Bite Diet.

Abdomen: 43.75 (-.5)
Waist: 34 (-.5)
Bust: 44.5 (.75)
Chest: 37 (-.5)
Hip: 45.8 (-1.2)
Left Arm: 14.1 (-.4)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (-.5)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (-.25)
Right Arm: 14.1 (-.3)
Right Forearm: 11 (.5)
Right Calf: 15.75 (-.75)
Right Thigh: 27.25 (-.5)
Neck: 14.4 (-.1)
Current Weight: 198.2 pounds (-4.2)
Inches lost: -.85
Running total: 2.7, +2.2 pounds

I'm pretty pleased.Four pounds in two weeks is excellent. I think I'll continue to try to implement this strategy. There's no reason I can't do the modified 5 Bites when I'm eating alone. I'm hoping to keep myself from over indulging just because I don't have anything to slow me down and remind me to check in with myself. I really think I'm going to keep up with this. I can't imagine how well this could work over the course of a week. 

Modified 5 Bites: Day 1

Yesterday I did a modified 5 Bites Diet. I had only 5 bites of food at a time. Unlike the true 5 Bites Diet, I ate whenever I was hungry - per intuitive eating standards. It doesn't sound healthy to only eat 10-12 bites of food in a day. You know what does sound like a good idea? Implementing the 5 bites theory as a way to control portion size.

Yesterday I ate a total of 32 bites of food. That's really weird. Even weirder, I wasn't hungry. The results:

Down 1 inch across my stomach.
Down half an inch around my waist.
Up .3 pounds.

Wow. I might stick with this on days when it's convenient. Am I going to do this when I got out to dinner? Nope! Am I going to do it when I'm sitting at home and have nothing better to do than eat? You bet. I've learned from Intuitive Eating that food is meant to be enjoyed. I'm not going to eat 3 bites of hamburger and one french fry just to lose weight. I'll eat half of both and enjoy every bite. It'll be great.  

Intuitive Eating Frustration and New Research

I want intuitive eating to work. I thought I was making progress, yet the past two weeks (and the ensuing creep in my weight) has got me pretty dismayed. I tried to abide by the  "rules", I tried to be mindful, but unfortunately when I'm not focusing on my eating and my weight every day, I lose control and I start to get the creeping. I really thought I'd made progress!

I read the paper every day. I'm sure this is a rarity for those in my age bracket, but the more I read it, the more thankful I am that I set aside an hour each morning to read the paper. I recently read an eye-opening article about weight loss. Now, it's pretty rare that I read anything "new" from the diet industry. In fact, with the exception of learning about ketogenic diets, I'm not sure if I've read anything new or eye opening in the last 10 years!

What was this revolutionary article? Well, basically it's the realization that those who lose weight quickly are no more likely to regain the weight than someone who loses slowly. In fact, there's some data that points to the fact that rapid weight loss might further encourage maintenance over the slow-and-steady approach. The complete article is available here.

Have you heard of the 5 Bite Diet? Well, it's been touted as everything from a "cure" to obesity to an eating disorder. Basically, the recommendation is to skip breakfast, eat 5 bites of any food you'd like for lunch, and 5 bites of any food you'd like for dinner. If you're really hungry, a bite before lunch and a bite between lunch and dinner are acceptable.

I read this and firmly through it in a pro-anorexia "diet". It was just a way for people with eating disorders to say they're "dieting" not starving themselves.

Having seen a few friends battle eating disorders, I'm pretty quick to dismiss anything that potentially affiliates with that. Those friends started out with good intentions of "losing a few pounds" and then it spiraled. I feel like with a diet that is SO restrictive, it'd be easy to over do it.

Only...how restrictive is it compared to keto? When people found out I was giving up carbs (not just bread, which apparently is normal, but basically all carbs) they lost it. People were so confused and convinced that it wasn't healthy and I was going to make myself sick. Clearly that's not the case.

My mother-in-law-to-be had gastric bypass 10 or 15 years ago. She's lost a ton of weight and has been great about sticking to the restricted servings that are recommended after surgery. She's maintained a huge loss of over 80 pounds and any time her weight fluctuates upward she gets back on the wagon and is extra diligent about serving size.

The more time I spend with her, the more I realize just how strict her servings are. After a 8 big bites, she daintily pushes her plate away proclaiming that she is full. The 5 Bite Diet sounds a lot like post gastric bypass rules. The only difference is that when she's done after just a few bites, she actually feels full, whereas 5 Bite Dieters just have incredible will power.

Does this mean I'm going to incorporate the 5 Bite Diet? Not right now. Not yet at least. I'm thinking instead, I'll try having 5 bites of each "item" that I want to eat. Tonight I'm making chicken parmigiana with a bite of green beans. Tonight I'm going to try to limit myself to five bites of chicken, five bites of spaghetti, five bites of green beans, and five bites of pie (yes, I'm having pie). After the five bites of each, I'm going to clean up dinner, put everything away, and if I'm hungry two hours later, I'll eat five bites more of whatever I desire. I'm hoping this will help me stop over eating. Hopefully I'll learn how much food I really need and start serving myself smaller amounts (and in turn losing more without restricting).

Now, I know I normally link to things, but the website that made the 5 Bite Diet is basically nothing but a giant add. Instead I'm linking to a wikiHow article that is not quite as extreme but follows the same basic premise.

No Measurement Monday

Well, Monday came and went and I totally forgot about it. I've just been feeling really tired and out of sorts. Between craft fairs, work, job hunting, home loaning, school and finals my brain is fuzzy and tired, I'm constantly exhausted and I feel fat. I've been doing my best to not stress eat, and maybe I've kept things under control to some degree, but I'm still feeling (and weighing and measuring) fat. Part of me just didn't want to know how bad it was.

The good news was when I stepped on the scale this morning (after 5 drinks last night) I was at 198.0!

Measurement Monday: October 13th, 2014

I ate salty pizza in some amount of moderation! I'm counting this as a success.

Abdomen: 44.25 (.45)
Waist: 34.5 (1.16)
Bust: 43.75 (1.25)
Chest: 37.5 (.5)
Hip: 46.6 (.3)
Left Arm: 14.5 (.25)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (.25)
Left Calf: 16.5 (.75)
Left Thigh: 27.75 (.5)
Right Arm: 14.5 (-.25)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (-.25)
Right Calf: 16.5 (.13)
Right Thigh: 27.75 (.25)
Neck: 14.5 (0)
Current Weight: 202.4 pounds (2)
Inches lost: 5.3
Running total:3.55, +6.4 pounds

Not a good week. I can tell that I'm really slipping on my moderation and listening to my body. It's so hard breaking the habit of eating before bed. I understand about not eating when I'm bored, but eating before bed is so natural. It's weird eating at 3 in the afternoon and not eating dinner.

No soda is going well, and I'm going to work hard on intuitive eating this week.

So Many Bad Choices

My stomach has been killing me the last few days. I've been "listening to my body", and my body is trying to kill me. Friday I had Chinese food. It wasn't that good and I still over ate a bit. Damnit. Then on Saturday I finished up the Chinese food (no overeating!), then a Taco Bell date with John before my craft fair, then Mexican fast food on the weight home.

Noooo, no more bad food choices. This was the worst idea ever. My body needs to crave healthier food. I've just feel bloated and gross and horrible.

At least I'm less stressed. My skin is looking better. Plus there has been a box of donuts on the table for a week and I've only wanted to eat 4 of them! That's pretty good moderation.

Measurement Monday: October 6th, 2014

Yesterday was full of booze, burgers, and salt!

Abdomen: 43.8 (.55)
Waist: 34.36 (.36)
Bust: 4.25 (1)
Chest: 37 (.1)
Hip: 46.3 (.3)
Left Arm: 14.25 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 10.5 (-.1)
Left Calf: 15.75 (-.62)
Left Thigh: 27.25 (-.5)
Right Arm: 14.75 (.75)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (.25)
Right Calf: 16.37 (0)
Right Thigh: 27.5 (-.5)
Neck: 14.5 (,25)
Current Weight: 199.4 pounds (1)
Inches lost: 1.59
Running total: -1.75 inches, +4.4 pounds

So this isn't a great week for me, but that's alright. There are worse things than that. I'm still below my starting inches at least. In brighter news, I'm officially down a dress size over the last 6 months! Yeah, I know that's really slow, but I bought a two dresses when I started working at my horrible job. Since then, both those dresses (one a 14 and the other a loose 16P) can be pulled over my head without being unzipped! I just bought a new dress that is a 12P!

First of the Month Photos: October, 2014

Alright, it's a little late uploading, but the pictures were taken on the 2nd. June is on the left, October is on the right. I look slightly possessed because the flash had to be on. Fall is coming and it was a little dark still.

Hm, this may not be much improvement. Only one chin though!

Not quite the same angle, but I think I'm thinner.

Definitely less back fat!

Weight: 198.4 (-2.4)
Body Fat Percentage: 32.5% (-1.5%!)

I'm so excited I lost over 1% of my body fat this month! I'm so excited. I even remeasured 3 times just in case. I just couldn't believe it. Definitely some improvement. I feel like, finally, I'm really losing weight. Before this is was so-so, but now I finally feel thinner.

Measurement Monday: September 29th, 2014

Yesterday was wonderful: dim sum with friends, preparing for my upcoming craft fairs, and greasy burgers with John. There was a touch of over eating, but there was a great accomplishment! Yesterday John offered to take me out to dinner last night just as I was heating up some taquitos. I cooked them, and then rather than eating one or two to "hold me over" until John got home, I left them on the counter to cool and didn't eat a single one. This is a big deal for me. Let's get on to the measurements!

Abdomen: 43.25 (-.47)
Waist: 34 (-.25)
Bust: 43.25 (-1)
Chest: 36.9 (.1)
Hip: 46 (-.17)
Left Arm: 14.5 (0)
Left Forearm: 10.6 (-.15)
Left Calf: 16.37 (.37)
Left Thigh: 27.75 (.25)
Right Arm: 14 (-1)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (-.25)
Right Calf: 16.37 (-.12)
Right Thigh: 28 (0)
Neck: 14.25 (-,5)
Current Weight: 198.4 pounds (1)
Inches lost: -4.72
Running total: -3.34 inches, +3.4 pounds

I'm up a pound, but that's okay. I lost almost 5 inches! I'm starting to see a pattern where I lose a large amount of inches, then as I slowly gain some of them back, my weight drops. It's like an infuriating roller coaster. The good news is, if I'm finding this pattern, and it's true, then hopefully that means that I'm not going to panic or be disappointed next week as the inches creep back up. On the other hand, I'll likely be down below my starting weight (wow, that's sad) by the end of October! At least I'll be well below in inches when I get back to my starting weight.

Measurement Monday: September 22nd, 2014

So many beans last night, so much gas.

Abdomen: 44.17 (-.37)
Waist: 34.25 (-.75)
Bust: 44.25 (.5)
Chest: 36.8 (.7)
Hip: 46.17 (.17)
Left Arm: 14.5 (.38)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (.12)
Right Arm: 15 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (-.05)
Right Calf: 16.5 (.12)
Right Thigh: 28 (.25)
Neck: 14.75 (,25)
Current Weight: 197.4 pounds (-1.6)
Inches lost: 1.82
Running total: 1.38 inches, +1.4 pounds

My inches are now bigger than when I started, which is a bummer. I'm losing weight though, which is great. Only 2.4 pounds until I'm back down to wear I was when I first decided to lose weight. Maybe next week will be better? The good news is,  I went to a potluck last night and didn't over eat too much.

Whoo!

I woke up this morning and weighed 197.4. I got off the scale and measured again: 197.4! Whoo! At the beginning of the month, I was 201.6. 4,2 pounds in 21 days seems like too much. I wanted to be sure that It was body fat, not muscle loss. I whipped out my hand little calipers and found I'm down a percentage! I'm down to 33% body fat! 29% is considered average. I'm within sight of average!

When I graduated high school, I was about 180.

I'm the short one, obviously.

 For me, 180 meant I could wear some bikinis with confidence, and I was about a size 10. This is my first real goal. At my heaviest I was almost 30 pounds away from that goal. Being just over 17 pounds away is so awesome. I feel like I'm only a few weeks away!I know I"m not, but the hope of "only a few weeks" makes me feel so optimistic and motivated. Realistically, I'm not going to be down to 180 until mid-January at the earliest, but it feels like I'm close.

On the other hand, if I continue to lose weight this quickly and the holidays don't lead me too far astray, it could be sooner. Either way, I'll be ready for a bikini next summer!

Fast Food Cut Back

I've always been bad at moderating fast food intake.

Growing up, it was a treat. As an adult, it has still been a treat. I survived a rough day at work and don't feel like cooking: grab a dollar sandwich and fries. I've been doing really well losing weight: have a frappe (doesn't this seem counter-intuitive?!). The thing is, I've never had the disposable income necessary for some of those fun "rewards" the internet suggests, like new workout clothes, a pedicure, etc. $20 workout clothes or $3 fast food treat? It's not a hard decision when money is tight.

I recently bought myself something I've really wanted for quite a while: laser hair removal. I have the money I'm saving by not having a gym membership, and I've stopped buying myself fast food. Rededicating the money from fast food toward something I really want has helped me kick the fast food habit far easier than "because I'm trying to lose weight" ever did. As a result? I'm actually losing weight more easily, and I don't feel deprived. I love this aspect of intuitive eating! I don't crave fast food because I'm denying myself. I don't crave it because I don't want it. I don't want fast food, I want to be hairless! Sometimes I crave a mocha frappe...so I buy a small one. I buy it, and I drink it and I savor every sip. Then I throw the cup in the trash and don't think about fast food for a week or two - maybe longer. It's great. I feel free! I'm no longer controlled by food. Now I'm controlled by my financial needs and wants, like a normal person! This is a really big deal!

Before, I didn't even know that my thoughts about food weren't normal.

Hungry, Hungry, Hungry

The last few days I've been constantly starving. It seems to come and go in waves. The bright side is, I seem to be losing weight still! Despite eating an entire pizza over the course of 12 hours, when I hopped on the scale yesterday, it said 197.2!

Okay, that's not exactly true, which brings me to the second point of this post: scale fluctuations.

When I first stepped on the scale, I was disappointed. It said 201.6! I said, "No, that can't be right!" So I stepped on it again, and then it said 197.2 This morning the scale first said 200.4, then 198.0. I really thought that a digital scale would help with the inaccuracy I was experiencing with my previous scale. To an extent, it did, now that it's a two pound fluctuation instead of then 15 pounds my old scale had, but still. Two pounds makes a difference when you're trying to lose weight!

Measurement Monday: September 15th, 2014

Well, I'm finally back below 200! The last time I was this low was back in May. I'm a little bloated based on my measurements (and the fact that I've eaten nothing but salt for the last two days)

Abdomen: 44.5 (.37)
Waist: 35 (.75)
Bust: 43.75 (.5)
Chest: 37.12 (.12)
Hip: 46 (0)
Left Arm: 14.12 (.87)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (.1)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.37 (-.12)
Right Arm: 14.5 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.8 (.05)
Right Calf: 16.37 (.15)
Right Thigh: 27.75 (0)
Neck: 14.5 (,12)
Current Weight: 199.0 pounds (-.4)
Inches lost: 3.41
Running total: -.44 inches, +3 pounds

Well, damn. That's a big increase in inches. I'll eat better next weekend. I'm sure it's mostly bloat.

Fullness Changes

I've noticed something new with intuitive eating and listening to my body: the point at which I feel content to stop is different. Before, I would only feel like I "over did it" when I was so I full I was physically uncomfortable.

I could sit down and eat half a medium pizza easily before. Now I eat two pieces and think, "Man, I probably didn't need all of that second piece!"

I spend a lot of time being confused about how little I have to eat to feel satisfied compared to what I thought was satisfying before. I'm definitely saving money on groceries!

No Going Back

I officially uninstalled My Fitness Pal. This shouldn't seem like as big of a step as it is, but I feel so free now. I'm not going back to counting calories or macros, it's official. It wasn't worth the stress, and I'm losing weight without it. It's still the best food tracking app I've seen, but that's not the lifestyle I want. It's too stressful.

I also gave up the gym.

I'm a little surprised myself.

The new gym just wasn't for me. My old gym wasn't convenient for my life at this point. I've seen some neat "challenges" that pop up on Pinterest and Facebook periodically. I think I'm going to start doing those. It won't be much, but it'll be better than nothing, right?

Measurement Monday: September 8th, 2014

It seems like Sundays I tend to over eat. I have to start working on that.

Abdomen: 44.12 (-.25)
Waist: 34.25 (-.25)
Bust: 43 (-.5)
Chest: 37 (-.5)
Hip: 46 (.5)
Left Arm: 13.5 (-.87)
Left Forearm: 10.65 (-.1)
Left Calf: 16 (.25)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (0)
Right Arm: 14 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (.25)
Right Calf: 16.12 (.63)
Right Thigh: 27.75 (.25)
Neck: 14.37 (-.12)
Current Weight: 200.4 pounds (-1.2)
Inches lost: -.21
Running total: -3.85 inches, +4.4 pounds

A bit of fluctuation, but not that bad. Considering I lost four inches last time, I'm not surprised that I didn't lose much this week, but I am happy I lost anything. I won't complain about another 1.2 pound down either!

Hopeful

I know I get all excited sometimes and claim that I'm going to lose X amount of weight by Y time. I'm doing my best not to get all excited just because I've lost a few pounds the last few weeks. It's hard to contain my perspective excitement. Even if I continue at my slow (though really it's not, I'm just impatient) and steady pace, I could be in a bikini by next summer. Well, a bikini that I feel good about my body in.

How I feel I look, but I certainly lack her confidence.

Today I'm going to the gym. I don't want to go. I don't know why. I think maybe I'm just a little nervous because it's a new gym, and what I want is to play racquetball, but I don't want to play alone.  Today I'm going to go and do upper body. I'm sure it'll be fine once I'm there, working out, but I just don't want to go. Maybe I'll swim instead.

In other news, I'm back to working on Saturdays again, which is great. It gives me a day to do homework at work and get caught up on stuff. It's going to be great if I can actually focus. This week I've managed to get a few assignments done so far at work. Hopefully I'll get the rest of it done today, but who knows. I'm just a little aimless right now.

Hunger is Weird

Eating when I'm hungry sounds easy, and it should be, but it's weird. All the articles and books I've read, they put hunger on a scale.

Typical Hunger Scale

Now, depending on which scale/article/book, they all recommend different numbers at which to eat and stop eating, but most of them, at least what I've seen for weight loss, they recommend eating at around 4, and stopping at around 6. It's way harder than it sounds. As someone who has always eaten around a schedule (usually regulated by breaks in work and school), it's baffling trying to listen to my body. I spend hours hanging around 4, and then it feels like I skip 3 all together and run head first in to 2. I feel like I've spend the last five hours carefully checking in with myself to see how I feel hunger-wise. I've been waiting to hit the magic "Fairly Hungry" stage. Suddenly I'm Ravenous.

I don't even like hotdogs and these look good.

I do okay most of the time with stopping at Full, but I occasionally over do it by a few bites. I'm currently reading "How to Have Your Cupcake and Your Skinny Jeans Too" by Josie Spinardi (I'll be putting up a review once I finish it), and she suggested a great technique to keep from over eating: Leave food on your plate. 1. This visually tells your body you don't need seconds, and 2. we (at least I) tend to over serve ourselves. Planning to leave  food on your plate means you have to check in with yourself as you get to the end of your meal: how many more bites do I need? How many bites are left? I check in at the halfway point and carve out a small portion of left overs. As my "will eat" pile dwindles, I start to consider how much of it I really need. If I'm truly hungry, I can always eat my leftovers, but I'm usually not. It's working really well for me, and my dogs are loving the leftovers.

Measurement Monday: September 1st, 2014

I over ate yesterday, but only a little.Otherwise it was a pretty good week. Just a brief explanation on my revised running total: I'm changing it from my highest weight and measurements to my starting weight and measurements.

Abdomen: 44.37 (-.38)
Waist: 34.5 (.25)
Bust: 43.5 (-.75)
Chest: 37.5 (.5)
Hip: 45.5 (-1)
Left Arm: 14.37 (0)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 15.75 (-.5)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (0)
Right Arm: 14 (-1)
Right Forearm: 10.5 (-.25)
Right Calf: 15.37 (-.63)
Right Thigh: 27.5 (-.5)
Neck: 14.5 (.12)
Current Weight: 201.6 pounds (-1.2)
Inches lost: -4.14
Running total: -3.64 inches, +5.6 pounds

I was looking over my very first Measurement Monday post, way back in April, and I've realized that I am NOW finally back down to my original measurements (give or take a half inch here and there). It's frustrating that I've spent four months going up and down to where I started. I do weigh 5 pounds more than I was originally (though who knows what I really weighed given my old scale). I just feel like I've been spinning my wheels and wasting time.

The four inches I lost this week REALLY gives me hope that this is going to be the thing that helps me lose weight. Three inches last week, four inches this week, it really does inspire me. Seven inches in two weeks is incredible. If only I didn't need to put on weight and give up bread for three months to figure it out.

First of the Month Photos: September

My body fat went down! Whoo! On the left is June, on the right is September.

My photographer may have been drunk for September's picture.

Definitely progress on the stomach area! I'm not wearing my bikini bottom lower, my stomach just sags less...that's gross as I type it.

My butt is a bit perkier, and I feel like my stomach is smoother, like there's less of a pooch at the bottom than there used to be.

I think it's time to tie my bikini top tighter. I didn't feel that it was crooked.

I'm going to say that my butt is definitely perkier. And I think my legs look leaner. I also think less back boob for sure. Maybe my ribs are thinner too?

Anyway, I'm pretty pleased and I'm glad I'm comparing to three months ago. It's easier to see if I'm really making progress.

(Amount in parentheses are compared to last month, not running total)
Weight: 200.8 (-1.8)
Body fat Percentage: 34% (-1%)

Hm.

I had a weird thought today: what will it be like when I do lose the weight? As it is, I already find myself running my hands over my slowly flattening stomach. Will I just be constantly fondling myself?

Even the girl above, while at a truly reasonable and attainable shape for me, I cannot imagine what it will like. I could wear anything! Maybe it won't be as weird when I get there simply because it will be such a gradual process.

Science!

Has everyone figured out how much I love research? Intuitive eating places a lot of emphasis on why dieting doesn't work.

I can totally understand, and speak from experience, as to why dieting doesn't work. At one point I was up to about 190 pounds (back in high school) and believed I was a huge cow. I wasn't. I was heavy, but I was wearing a size 14 and relatively healthy - by no means was I a cow. Anyway, I did something about it. I lost about 30 pounds. I got down to a size 8-10 and felt great! (Hence why that's my first big goal, and potential stopping point.) I didn't think I was done losing weight, but I had gotten to a point where I was comfortable again. I relaxed. Then all the weight came back, with an extra 15 pounds.

Remember how well Keto was going? I got down to 193!! I haven't been 193 since this time LAST YEAR. Then something happened...and at the start of IIFYM I was two pounds heavier than I was before I started Keto. I always thought it was me! I thought I was to blame. How could I  do this to myself? Again?! You want to know a secret though: It's not just me, and it's not you either.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but when I hear the word "binge" I think of an eating disorder. The binge/purge cycle that is associated with a true eating disorder of life threatening magnitude. That's not all it means though! My secret trips to Panda Express, ordering the two entreé meal because I knew it was going to be forever until I my resolve would break and I would have it again, that's a binge. No, it wasn't 7,000 calories, but it was a binge in every other sense of the word.

In theory, intuitive eating will help keep this from happening.

Feelings of Freedom

I know this will sound weird, given that I've only decided to ditch traditional diets a few days ago, but I feel so liberated. I'm excited to cook! I peruse recipes online and I'm thrilled thinking about what it will taste like, not calculating what the macros are for a small piece, and trying to plan my day around making it fit into my daily macros. I can pick any recipe I want and not worry about substituting ingredients because it has carbs. It's that feeling of elation, the last hurrah before a diet starts:

 Only I don't have that restrictive diet to look forward to on Monday. It's awesome. I even weighed myself today to see if I had actually lost weight or if it was just a random blip. I'm down 3 pounds since Sunday. It's weird.

For me, it's been about not restricting myself, therefore alleviating cravings, and eating only when I'm hungry. I'm not someone who eats when I'm sad, or when I'm upset. Nope, I eat when I'm bored. Watching Netflix, working on my novel, doing homework - all that mindless eating has really added on the pounds. I knew that was my problem, but I'd convince myself I really was hungry. Maybe I was, but I certainly wasn't hungry enough for all that I was eating. This feels like it will really stick...assuming it works.

Holy Shit!

On my first day of Intuitive Eating I had soda and salty pizza. I would expect some bloating, some water retention, and definitely no weight loss. I woke up this morning and weighed myself as usual and found I was down to 201.3! That's a loss of 1.5 pounds! I would have been thrilled to have weighed the same amount.

We'll see on Monday if my measurements match my weight loss or if I should be concerned.

Intuitive Eating: Day One

I am pleasantly surprised at how well today went! Breakfast was a protein shake. I'm not normally too hungry in the morning and it was nice to not force a heavy protein filled breakfast. Lunch was half of a small fruit tart that my coworker brought me. Dinner - and this truly amazed me - was Dominoes. I love pizza. I love it way too much. Normally I'd sit down and eat at least half of a medium pizza by myself. Plus parmesean bites. Oh, and some cinnamon sticks dipped in icing...and by some I mean half of them.

Tonight I had two pieces of pizza, four parmesean bites and two cinnamon sticks in frosting. Is that more than I needed? Actually, no. I feel pleasantly full, not uncomfortable and bloated like normal.

This is awesome.

Measurement Monday: August 26th, 2014

Due to being sick, I haven't really watched what I was eating. Let's consider this my intuitive eating practice run?

Abdomen: 44.75 (-1.05)
Waist: 34.25 (-1.25)
Bust: 44.25 (.25)
Chest: 37 (-1)
Hip: 46.5 (0)
Left Arm: 14.37 (0)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (-.05)
Left Calf: 16.25 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (-.25)
Right Arm: 15 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (-.05)
Right Calf: 16 (-.25)
Right Thigh: 28 (-.25)
Neck: 14..37 (0)
Current Weight: 202.8 pounds (-1)
Inches lost: -3.4
Running total: -.47 inches, +6.8 pounds

Those inches are a pleasant surprise! I'm really excited to see this. It gives me hope that intuitive eating could work.

Intuitive Eating?

This past week I have been so sick. I don't know what happened. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling terrible and have been waiting for death to take me since. I even called in sick three days last week. It's a rare occasion that I call out of work.

I've realized that IIFYM  isn't going to work right now. I'm too stressed with school, work, and fixing up the house. It's just not happening right now and I think it will only get worse as we get closer to the holidays. I'm going to try intuitive eating with a focus on protein.

The main argument against intuitive eating is that intuitive eating is the reason why most people are fat. That's true, to a point. I know the big reason I eat is boredom. In the past, boredom eating meant candy, baked goods, and sweets. I still eat when I'm bored, and I'm working on that, but now when I'm bored I eat jerky and sunflower seeds. I don't want candy. I don't crave sweets and carb filled baked goods. I crave real food. I can't tell you how badly I want a (Monterrey-jack) cheese  burger on a homemade honey-wheat bun with a thick slice of spicy red onions, brown mustard, and spinach. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I found a great article on intuitive eating on Huffington Post.

I think it took Paleo (i.e. eat some fucking vegetables and stop with the processed junk) and keto (i.e. step away from the bread, fatty) to teach my body what I want and need. IIFYM also brought to light how protein deprived I've been (and probably why that burger sounds so good!). What's the plan now?

GYM:

Monday: racquetball with Dad! This is something I'm actually really looking forward to. I'll go. I want to go. It's going to be great and it gives me a chance to spend time with him.

Tuesday: Best case scenario, I'll hit the gym on Tuesday between work and school. I get off at 4 and class isn't until 6. That gives me enough time to hit lower body. Upper body is too time-consuming once you figure half an hour to drive to the gym and change, then half an hour to drive to school.

Thursday: Racquetball with John! This might be a pipe dream, but it'd be great if he did some cardio. Hopefully we'll do some legs before hand. He doesn't want to lift lower body because he already has a hard time finding jeans that will fit over his muscled thighs.

Friday: Upper body! John will definitely want to join me on Fridays. He's self-conscious of his slim arms. Plus Friday evenings are pretty dead at the gym, especially in the weight room.

FOOD:
I really want to start cooking more. It's starting to cool off now (my kitchen is only 85 degrees instead of 95!) and we've been eating out too much as it is. I'm hoping Thursday-Sunday I'll be cooking dinner at home. I want Sundays to be the day that I make something big that we can either take to lunch or reheat for dinner Monday-Wednesday. The focus of every meal will be protein. No more grilled cheese sandwiches. I also want to start making my own bread again.

FASTFOOD:
No more fast food by myself. No quick dinners grabbed on the way home. I'll eat when I get home.

BLOG:
What do these lofty goals mean for this blog? Good news: You'll be getting more recipes! More cooking means more recipes, and I might as well share them. Hopefully with less stress I'll post fewer whiny "counting macros is hard" posts.


How does intuitive eating factor in to all this? Well, my goal with cooking and eating at home is that I'll be eating more nutrient dense foods. Even home made bread is better than store bread. No corn syrup, no preservatives to extended shelf life, no chemicals and dyes to make it look fresher. I will not eat when I'm bored. I will eat when I'm hungry. I will make myself one serving and put everything away. If I'm truly hungry, I can get it all out and make another serving. I can tell when I'm boredom eating because I don't want to put in any effort. My quesodillas are cheese only, no meat, no onions, no salsa. Just cheese and a tortilla thrown in the microwave. It's not even that good when it's microwaved. Cooked in a pan is way better.

Tracking Fail

I'm not doing well tracking my macros. It's not like it takes that much time to track, but it's one more thing to do, and when I'm already feeling overwhelmed, it's one thing I can choose to sacrifice. I've cut back on the carbs though, and I'm feeling much better, plus my skin is starting to improve.

On the other hand, my protein has been less than ideal. I have no idea why the FDA recommends 50g of protein and 300g of carbs. It's ridiculous. Only eating 50g of protein? Yeah, no wonder vegans think they're getting enough protein in. 50g from non-meat sources is pretty easy, it's the other 100g that are tricky!

I like this version better:

I'd throw grains in where fruit is and combine fruit, sweets (basically the same thing as fruit), and swap them with nuts on top. I love nuts, but I can understand how some people could over do it. They're high in fat and protein and could be over done. Plus, the whole nut/seed oil debate.

Cardio and Thyroids!

I love racquetball. It's great. I'm so happy to be back playing again and I can't wait until John and I start playing. I'm hoping I'll be playing twice a week soon, once with Dad and once with John. Then I'll actually be doing cardio like a real person! Plus, racquetball isn't just cardio. It counts as high intensity cardio. Not quite HIIT (high intensity interval training), but still relatively high intensity.

Within 8-10 minutes I'm winded - not that it takes much. I may evolve in to being a "cardio person" instead of:

I finally understand what people mean by pick an exercise you love. Don't get me wrong, I love to lift, but I'm not longer quite as pumped about it as I was before I injured myself. I'm not great at taking it easy.

In other news, I finally got my thyroid results back. I'm totally normal, yay!

Stress Management? What's that?

I don't drink beer. I drink bitch beer.

I have always drank hard liquor. I never liked the taste of beer. The thing is, hard liquor doesn't encourage winding down or have the social camaraderie aspect. Recently I've really been enjoy Mike's Hard. While Peppermint Schnapps will always have a place in my heart, at this point it makes me want to take a nap.

I have to admit, I've been pretty stressed. I haven't heard back from any of the jobs I've applied for, my house is a disaster, I hate my job, and my coworkers are easily frustrated. Seriously, Mondays and Thursdays are shitty because they're made that either the week just started or because it's almost, but not quite yet Friday. Seriously, who cares if it's Friday?! You're going to work five days a week for the rest of your miserable lives - why stress out about what day it is?

On top of my house being a disaster, my hair is coming out in handfuls,  it's muggy and hot in my house, I'm still helping my friend move, our dog is still sick, I'm getting sick, and I just used the last clean spoon - and it was plastic. It's awful. I'm really going to try to stick it out another three weeks in the hopes of finding a job, but I'm tempted to put in my two weeks and sign back up with the temp agency. Other people are making $4-$5 per hour more than me doing the same work. My job probably wouldn't bother me so much if I were being paid what others in my field are.

Measurement Monday: August 18th, 2014

Things I did this week: applied for 22 jobs, worked a week from hell, medicated our sick dog, helped a friend pack, dealt with babies, went to the gym.
Things I did not do this week: track my macros, watch what I ate.

Abdomen: 45.8 (.8)
Waist: 35.5 (.5)
Bust: 44 (.5)
Chest: 38 (.5)
Hip: 46.5 (-.25)
Left Arm: 14.37 (-.38)
Left Forearm: 10.8 (-.2)
Left Calf: 16.25 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.75 (-.25)
Right Arm: 14.5 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.8 (-.2)
Right Calf: 16.25 (0)
Right Thigh: 28.25 (0)
Neck: 14..37 (-.13)
Current Weight: 203.8 pounds (-.8)
Inches lost: .89
Running total: 2.93 inches,+7.8 pounds

Although I gained inches, I don't mind. I'm thrilled my neck measurement is going down. That's a real sign of progress! My neck doesn't care if I'm  bloated or have been eating crappy. My neck doesn't puff up from too much sodium. This means I'm actually losing inches! Plus, for not watching my eating, I'm not disappointed.

First Night with a Trainer

We did legs.

Ow. It hurts to sit. Not to sit down, but to sit. Just sitting in my chair typing hurts my quads.

Anyway, this was my first time with a trainer (it was free). I really enjoyed it. He was smart, polite, and knowledgeable. He said my form wasn't bad, but needed a bit of work. He showed me how to get lower in my squat, and some cool new exercises. It was wonderful. Would I pay for a trainer every week? No way. Not on my limited income. But, I can see how some individuals would benefit from regularly going to a good trainer. He really pushed me a bit more than I would have on my own, and having a spotter definitely gave me more confidence to go heavier. He was great, and I will definitely be going back to him in a few months for a form check and progress.

Also, my new gym? I'm pumped! It's really nice. I'm going to have to start going on the way to work instead of on the way home though, because it's pretty busy at 4:30. That's okay though. I don't work until 10, so I've got quite a bit of time in the morning.

Also, I'm now set up to go play racquetball with my dad after class on Monday nights. I'm so excited! I love racquetball and it's pretty much the only cardio I'll do for an extended period of time. I can't wait! We used to play a few years ago once or twice a week. It was great spending time with him and good exercise. I don't recall losing weight, but I think I would have if I'd been watching my diet. Hopefully John will be willing to start playing too, and we can start going once a week too.

 

Only 24 Hours in a Day

Everything involves sacrifice - which is a bummer.

 My job has gotten to be pretty stressful, I've written nothing in the last two weeks, I've gone to the gym zero times since I burned myself, my dishes have piled up in the sink, my house is a mess, laundry needs to be put away, and school hasn't even started yet!

What have I been doing? Working, preparing for school, house sitting, house hunting, researching mortgages, looking up properties and trailers for sale, planning my wedding, applying for new jobs, taking care of a sick dog, and crocheting my wedding dress.

A piece of my wedding dress.

Plus, I haven't had sex in over a month. First I was injured, then John was sick, then I was house sitting, and now that I'm back John isn't feeling well again and is freaking out over our poor dog that keeps coughing like she has Valley Fever. Ugh.

I'm just having a hard time shuffling my priorities.

Things I need to do:

• Apply for new jobs
• Workout
• Eat better
• Fix up the house
• Clean the damn house
• School (which starts in 2 weeks)
• Medicate the dog (a 10 minute ordeal twice a day)

 Things I want to do:

• Research housing
• Get John to commit to a house decision
• Plan my wedding
• Have a social life
• Build a shed and stop paying for a storage unit
• Crochet and sew
• Watch Netflix

Things I'm currently doing:

• Applying for new jobs
• Medicating the dog
• Crocheting
• Watching Netflix
• Researching housing

 It's close, but there certainly isn't enough of my "Need to" list on my "current" list.

On top of all this, there's a great housing opportunity that John is reluctant to take advantage of. The property next to my sister's is empty. It's a rent to own, the owners are the parents of a couple I know, they'd love to have us out there, we could do whatever we wanted to the property, and it's an acre and a half! The only down side is that we'd need to move a trailer out there. Personally, I don't see this as a downside. It means we get to move the nicest place we can afford, the perfect place for us, out to our own acre and a half of nice cleared property.

John is less than thrilled. He doesn't want to mess around with finding, moving, and setting up a trailer. I don't blame him, BUT were we to buy property, nothing in our price range has a liveable trailer on it. We'd end up dumping thousands of dollars into fixing up a trailer instead of just moving a nicer one out there.

Plus, I don't think he realizes how much it would mean to me to live close to my sister. John and I want to live in a rural community. Being 30 minutes from town, 30 minutes from the police, and 30 minutes from the fire department means that having a strong community is imperative. I love my sister, her husband is wonderful, I know all their neighbors through various house sitting jobs, and they all are so close. If you need anything, call. There's always someone available and willing to help (of course that's expected to be reciprocated, but that's fine). I would be able to walk to my sister's house. There's a path between the two properties. It would mean the world to me if we could live near her. I just don't know how to make John understand that.

On top of all that, we also need to save a couple grand by January. You know, it's not like it's hard trying to save money during the holidays, right? Ugh.

So, today starts a new day! I meet with my personal trainer, I start at my new gym, I'm applying for jobs daily, and breakfast has been healthy. Here we go!

Measurement Monday: August 11th, 2014

I know, I disappeared for a week. I've been house-sitting. It's been terrible and so have my eating habits.

Abdomen: 45 (.5)
Waist: 35 (.5)
Bust: 43.5 (-.25)
Chest: 37.5 (.25)
Hip: 46.75 (.5)
Left Arm: 14.75 (.5)
Left Forearm: 11 (.25)
Left Calf: 16.25 (.25)
Left Thigh: 28 (0)
Right Arm: 14.5 (0)
Right Forearm: 11 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (0)
Right Thigh: 28.25 (.5)
Neck: 14.5 (0)
Current Weight: 204.6 pounds (0)
Inches lost:2.75
Running total: 2.04 inches, +8.6 pounds

Oh well. On a brighter note, I switched from the YMCA to LA Fitness. LA Fitness is closer, it's on my way too and from work, and John joined with me, which means that we can workout together (or I can workout at a nice facility and he can join me for racquet ball once or twice a week).
 

More Tweaking

I'm liking IIFYM a lot. You know why? Convenience food. I won't lie. I love fast food. Panda Express, Tacobell, Chinese buffets, greasy Mexican fast food, I love all of it. What I don't love is how IIFYM has caused my face to break out.

The left was on keto (the black shit on my face is roofing cement), the right is from this morning. I'm pink in both pictures, but I feel like I'm much more red on the right, and the breakouts that I have on the right are big and scabby, whereas on the left they were relatively small and not very noticeable (and didn't become inflamed).

Rather than go back to keto, I'm going to tip my macros slowly in that direction to figure out the issue. It isn't all a matter of sugar either (which was my first thought). I ate sugar (though sugar alcohols), I ate fast food (though keto approved fast food), and I ate gluten (in low carb wraps), so who knows? Instead of160g of carbs, 47g of fat and 130g of protein I'm changing it to 102g of carbs, 120-140g of protein (goal is 140g, but I know that's tough) and 72g of fat. I'm hoping this will help my skin, without sacrificing my gym and weight loss progress.

Measurement Monday: August 4th, 2014

This weekend was once again full of grease and salt. John got a great new job, and we were celebrating. Worth it. I'm still feeling great about the progress in my pictures, so I don't care that my weight went up.

Abdomen: 44.5 (0)
Waist: 34.5 (-.25)
Bust: 43.75 (.25)
Chest: 37.25 (-.5)
Hip: 46.25 (-.25)
Left Arm: 14.25 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 28 (.25)
Right Arm: 14.5 (.375)
Right Forearm: 11 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (0)
Right Thigh: 27.75 (-.25)
Neck: 14.5 (0)
Current Weight: 204.6 pounds (+.2)
Inches lost:-.625
Running total: -.71 inches, +8.6 pounds

It's going the right direction! My goal for this week is to lose a pound and go back to the gym. My burns are healing well enough that I think I can exercise without being on fire. 

IIFYM vs. Calorie Counting

I calorie counted for years. I'm a professional calorie counter, honestly. I've done so off and on for about a third of my life, so trust me when I say I'm well practiced. The thing I loved about calorie counting was that macros didn't matter. This meant that if I wanted to, I could eat a package of chocolate fudge pop tarts for every meal and in theory lose weight.

A package of pop tarts is only 400 calories. If I ate pop tarts for every meal I'd still have an extra 200-400 calories at the end of the day! I could have an entire cup of chocolate ice cream to end my day of pop tarts. I wasn't always so bad about my food choices, but I certainly wasn't looking to hit nutrition guidelines. I just was watching calories. This was good and bad. On the one hand, I'd lose weight eventually. On the other hand, my skin broke out and I felt like shit all the time. On top of that, eating wasn't about being healthy and getting thinner, it was about sneaking in as much crap food as I could, and losing weight simply due to deficit.

IIFYM is great, because there's that emphasis on health.

The only down side is that it requires so much tracking of so many things (fat, carbs, protein and fiber, vs. just calories), that some times I felt a bit obsessive.

Still, I'll take the hints of obsession over eating crap simply because it fits into my calories for the day. It's hard to eat crap all day know how much protein you'll have to eat at dinner to make up for pop tarts for breakfast and lunch. Besides, I'm really enjoying my progression back to eating real food. Paleo was difficult to have a life with, keto was better but still a challenge. This is very attainable, and after being so restrictive the last 6 months, I'm having no issues staying within reason on my carbs (which some IIFYM-ers have a hard time with).