Measurement Monday: June 30th, 2014

This week actually went pretty well. Not great, but much better! Also, I hit a new all time low of 193! Of course, that's not what I weight on my actual weigh in day. That'd be too convenient. Oh well.

Abdomen: 44.25 (.25)
Waist: 34.25 (-.25)
Bust: 43.5 (0)
Chest: 37.25 (.25)
Hip: 46.5 (.25)
Left Arm: 14.25 (0)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16.125 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (0)
Right Arm: 14.5 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (.25)
Right Thigh: 27.75 (-.25)
Neck: 14.5 (0)
Current Weight: 196 pounds (-5)
Inches lost:+1.25
Running total: -2.415 inches, 0 pounds

Inches wise, not great. I'm getting back in to drinking soda a little too often and I think that's resulting in some bloating. Either way, I'm back down the 10 pounds and hopefully the inches will be coming off soon because I'm going back to the gym tomorrow!

 

You Can't Tell Me What I Can't Do!

I've never been one of these people:

I'm not competitive, and I don't feel the need to prove anything. A few days ago, I showed my fitspiration picture to a friend of mine (basically my ultimate goal). I was complaining that John was afraid I was going to get to buff and no longer look like a woman. Now, I agree, there is a limit, but I'd need steroids to get there!

She-Hulk SMASH!

So when I showed her the photo, her first response was, "You don't want to look like that! You don't even have her body type!" What? Do people seem to think that 'fit' is a body type? Part of why I think that it's a pretty realistic goal is that she does have my body type.

Remember this flattering picture?

Okay, so I'm not thin, and I'm not 5'8", but if you look past that, we have a similar body type: thick thighs, defined waist, broad shoulder and wide hips.

Now this girl has a beautiful body that she clearly has worked hard for:

I would love to look like her, but I simply won't ever look like that. She's got thin legs (and it's not from skipping leg day), slender arms, and I suspect a slightly less defined waist.

Now, I think both those women look feminine, curvy, and beautiful. They aren't manish, they both have waists still, I just don't understand why people are averse to a strong body on a woman. If a man has a six pack it's fine, if a woman has a faint outline of a sixpack, everyone loses it. What the hell?

So, for the first time in my life, I have my heart set on proving those people wrong. Fuck all of them. I'm going to look great and I don't care how much work I have to put in to it.

Celebration and Failure

Great news! I finished my novel. I didn't just finish a first draft, no, I have a completed, polished manuscript and sent it off to my beta readers. I was over the moon! Now I've always been food motivated (does that make me a dog?)

So I went out to celebrate and bought myself a chocolate malt. I bought the small, where as I'd normally by the large, but still. It was a pretty big cheat and set off cravings...so then I ordered pizza, because who cares? It was one day, and I had finished a project I'd been working on for three years! Again, I ate in moderation, only had one piece and two bread sticks. Normally I would've eaten half the bread sticks and half the pizza, so I consider this a small victory. The downside to only eating one piece? I ate the rest of the pizza over the next two days. Ugh.

I know all the tricks about rewards. Reward yourself with a new outfit, or new workout gear, or a pedicure. Yeah, whatever. That didn't work, obviously. Spend $3 on a shake and $7 on pizza and bread sticks, or a new outfit, workout gear, or a pedicure which tallies up to $20+. It's hard to decide justify that expense when you're on a budget. The $3 malt (or whatever small food token I would've picked otherwise) is so much less expensive and in that instant, with money tight, I can't justify shopping and pedicures.

Measurement Monday: June 23rd, 2014

I fell off the wagon, it backed over me, and then drove off. Friday I went to happy hour with a few friends. I really did a decent job. I had a skinny margarita and we split nachos and I ate a reasonable amount. Awesome, right? Then they sent me home with the leftovers...so I ate them for breakfast because I woke up starving after eating carbs the night before. Saturday, other than the nachos, I did pretty well. Then my fiance suggested Red Robin for dinner. I was going to get bottomless cooked broccoli and eat my burger without the bun, but then...I dunno...bottomless fries. Needless to say, I ate two servings of fries (how did that happen?) and a third of my burger. I will say I'm glad that I only ate a third of my burger. Normally I would have eaten both servings of fries and my whole burger!

So, then I took the remaining two-thirds of my burger home, and ate it for breakfast on Sunday. Then Sunday I met up with a friend and we had the nugget meal at McDonald's. It's a tradition, don't judge.  Then I didn't really eat the rest of the day. I wasn't hungry until 10 o'clock last night, and I was not going to cook that late.

But today is a new day. I'd like to change my measurement day to Friday (before the cheating), but I like the punishment and immediate repercussion of cheating based on how it affects my measurements.
Abdomen: 44 (-.5)
Waist: 34.5 (0)
Bust: 43.5 (.5)
Chest: 37 (0)
Hip: 46.25 (.25)
Left Arm: 14.5 (1 wtf?)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16.125 (-.125)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (0)
Right Arm: 14.25 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16 (0)
Right Thigh: 28 (.75)
Neck: 14.5 (.-25)
Current Weight: 201 pounds (+5)
Inches lost:+2.125
Running total: -3.665 inches, +5 pounds

You know what's most frustrating about this? The fact that the other day, before all this cheating, I had gotten down to 195. It was a new low for me! Ugh. Now I'm up 6 pounds from that. Today I'm seeing my doctor to see if she clears me for exercise. My gym membership starts back up on July first. I am going back to the gym in July regardless. I can't take this sitting around not doing anything crap. Plus, I feel fine! I've felt fine almost the entire time. my abdomen hurt the first month, and since then, for the last two freaking months, I really haven't noticed any change.

On another note, I can't believe my left bicep is up an inch. That seems weird. Yesterday my fiance John, and I finished painting the bathroom. I know there's such a thing as "pump" after exercise, but that seems excessive to me. Plus, I feel like my right bicep would have increased proportionately, especially because I'm right handed (although I paint with both).

I'm not going to cheat this week. It's not happening. I have my own wedding looming, and since I'm making my dress, it'd be great if there was less of me to cover. Sure, my wedding is still a year out, but still. I'm not going to be a fat bride.

"I thank God..."

I'm part of a keto group on Facebook. I love this group because I get lots of new ideas for recipes, and I also get to see other people's progress. Even when I'm not losing weight, seeing other people lose on this way of eating is like having my own cheerleaders. It can work if I just keep with it.

What irritates the fuck out of me are those weight loss posts that start or end with "I thank God for this weight loss..." What?! No. I worked my ass off to lose weight, and so did they. Some magical being didn't do it. It was my hard work, my perseverance, and my drive. If I wake up looking like a fitness model with the skin of a seven year old, then I'll thank God.

Am I Skinny Yet?

I feel like I've been doing really well with not cheating, but I'm not seeing the results I want.

When I think back (okay, look back on my blog), I started keto on May 14th. In just over a month I've lost 10 pounds. I should be over the moon! 10 pounds in a month is a ton of weight for such a small amount of time (at least for a person my size). According to the internet (which is always right), this is what five pounds looks like:

While that woman may be a size zero, I'm going to assume she has normal adult hands. Just looking at how big it is in her hands, I feel accomplished because I've lost twice that. As great as that is, I haven't lost a single pants size. I have a pair of 14 Walmart jeans that barely fit last winter, and I'd like to fit into them again this fall, but at this point I'm feeling like it isn't ever going to happen. Since May, I'm down a half inch on my waist and hips, and up .125 inches on my abdomen. As someone who always loses from my stomach before anywhere else, I'm very frustrated.

This keto diet really seems to have altered how my body loses. I've only lost 4 inches across my body, despite my ten pound loss. Ugh. My follow up with my doc for my abdominal tear is on Monday. Hopefully this means I'll be back at the gym in July. If I'm still not allowed to work out after Monday, I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably cry and watch Disney Movies while drinking a giant chocolate shake.

Some day!

Measurement Monday: May 16th

Sorry this is belated. The internet went down.
I'm kind of making progress. This week I tried to do my modified egg fast, but I cooked up some roast in the crock pot and have been eating a lot of nachos (on pork rinds) and taco salad.
Abdomen: 44.5 (0)
Waist: 34.5 (0)
Bust: 43 (0)
Chest: 37 (-.5)
Hip: 46 (-.5)
Left Arm: 13.5 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (-.25)
Left Calf: 16.25 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (-.5)
Right Arm: 13.75 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16 (-.25)
Right Thigh: 27.25 (-.75)
Neck: 14.75 (0)
Current Weight: 196 pounds (0)
Inches lost:-3
Running total: -5.79 inches, -10 pounds

Last week I gained 3.75 inches, this week I lost 3. I'm counting this as a success. My goal next week is 3 inches and two pounds. I know I don't ever really reach my goals, and there's no repercussions, but I feel like they're important.

No Cheats!

Yesterday I went to a party and there were nachos. There were quite a few people I didn't really know, as well as a vegan, who was very nice, but still very vegan. Nevertheless, I ate my pork rind nachos and didn't cheat.

Today I took one look in the mirror and thought I looked thinner. I whipped out my tape measure, and I've lost 3/4 of an inch from my abdomen! Yay! I think that combined with my modified egg fast, things are going well. I'm pretty pleased with myself. Things are going much better. I can't wait for this Monday!

Oops

Remember when I decided to egg fast again? Yup, that didn't work. I was doing excellent on my Keto diet, despite doing poorly on the egg fast, and yesterday I thought I finally was back in ketosis (I could tell because I felt feverish). Then I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday...and then things went down hill fast.

Anyone who has been to Jason's Deli has probably heard of the Plain Jane. The Holy Grail of baked potatoes:

I couldn't resist. I justified it by saying at least it's high fat, and I'd behaved and kept my carb count down for the day.

Moral of the story? I feel like crap, super bloated, constipated, and I think I'm actually getting a cold. My throat is really sore, and I'm still feverish, and with the number of carbs (200!) I ate last night I definitely am not in ketosis still.

Return of the Egg Fast

After being so thoroughly disappointed with how last week went, I'm returning to the egg fast, with some modifications:
1. Eggs and fat (mayo, cheese, butter, BPC) will be my primary source of food.
2. I will be able to eat LCHF/keto for my lunch meals at work.
3. If I am home, I will eat eggs for lunch.
4. Just as before, it's 1 tbs fat per egg.

I hope this will get me on track. I'll be doing it until Monday, then  I'll review. The egg fast really helped last time. I hope it will help again.

Okay, so, let's talk about goals, since I didn't address them in my Measurement Monday post. I'm hoping to drop 5 pounds. I know that sounds like a lot, but last time, I dropped 4 pounds and only fasted 2.5 days. At the time, I only lost .75 inches. This time I want to lose at least 4 inches, the 3.75 I gained last week, and a little more for good measure.

I'll report back soon!

Measurement Monday: June 9th, 2014

Okay, so, I sucked this week. Not going well, Keto-wise, but I've noticed that I actually have a better handle on my hunger. Sure, I ate shitty food, but I ate it in reasonable quantities and really kept track of my hunger. I didn't eat just because it was there, I ate because I was hungry and stopped when I wasn't. Also, as a result of not eating well, I'm feeling a little bloated and my hands are so swollen I can barely get my engagement ring on. I am not a happy camper.
Abdomen: 44.5 (.5)
Waist: 34.5 (.5)
Bust: 43 (.5)
Chest: 37.5 (.5)
Hip: 46.5 (.5)
Left Arm: 13.75 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 11 (.25)
Left Calf: 16.25 (.25)
Left Thigh: 28 (.75)
Right Arm: 13.75 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (0)
Right Thigh: 28 (.25)
Neck: 14.75 (0)
Current Weight: 196 pounds (+1)
Inches lost: +3.75
Running total: -2.79 inches, 0 pounds

What is this bullshit? Basically, all the good I did when I did the egg fast? Yup, undid all of that. I'm surprised I haven't put on more weight, but all the inches are upsetting. I'm hoping it's mostly bloat. I did have pizza and (diet) soda last night. 

A Belated Evaluation of May's Goals

Today I realized I had set the goal of being able to touch my toes by the end of May. Hah. That didn't happen.

My doc has said no weightlifting, no crunches, no cardio, and no yoga. Apparently I'm one step above bed rest, which is infuriating given that I'm not having any pain from my abdominal tear. Whatever. I'm being re-evaluated on the 22nd, so hopefully I will have a clean bill of health and be able to go back to the gym.

Speaking of the gym, I don't think you understand just how much I miss it. I recently joined Fitocracy (a cool fitness based social network which I will be reviewing once I get more use out of it), which has only made me more anxious to return. It's just frustrating knowing that while some people get hurt doing something typically understood as dangerous (skateboarding, mountain biking, etc), I get injured at the gym.

It's frustrating and I'm really starting to lose motivation. I know that diet is 80% of your fitness, but it feels like I'm wasting my time without being able to lift.

Measurement Monday: June 2nd, 2014

Time to see the results of my egg fast:
Abdomen: 43.75 (-.75)
Waist: 34 (-.5)
Bust: 42.5 (.5)
Chest: 37 (-.5)
Hip: 46 (0)
Left Arm: 14 (.25)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.25 (0)
Right Arm: 13.75 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (.25)
Right Thigh: 27.5 (-.25)
Neck: 14.75 (.25)
Current Weight: 195 pounds (4!)
Inches lost: -.75
Running total: -1

Okay, so, only .75 inches lost, but 4 pounds down! I'm so excited! I'm only 15 pounds from the weight I was last time I thought I was fat. I'm also incredibly pleased to see I finally lost around my gut and waist. Next week I hope to lose two inches and another two pounds.