First of the Month Photos: September

My body fat went down! Whoo! On the left is June, on the right is September.

My photographer may have been drunk for September's picture.

Definitely progress on the stomach area! I'm not wearing my bikini bottom lower, my stomach just sags less...that's gross as I type it.

My butt is a bit perkier, and I feel like my stomach is smoother, like there's less of a pooch at the bottom than there used to be.

I think it's time to tie my bikini top tighter. I didn't feel that it was crooked.

I'm going to say that my butt is definitely perkier. And I think my legs look leaner. I also think less back boob for sure. Maybe my ribs are thinner too?

Anyway, I'm pretty pleased and I'm glad I'm comparing to three months ago. It's easier to see if I'm really making progress.

(Amount in parentheses are compared to last month, not running total)
Weight: 200.8 (-1.8)
Body fat Percentage: 34% (-1%)

Hm.

I had a weird thought today: what will it be like when I do lose the weight? As it is, I already find myself running my hands over my slowly flattening stomach. Will I just be constantly fondling myself?

Even the girl above, while at a truly reasonable and attainable shape for me, I cannot imagine what it will like. I could wear anything! Maybe it won't be as weird when I get there simply because it will be such a gradual process.

Science!

Has everyone figured out how much I love research? Intuitive eating places a lot of emphasis on why dieting doesn't work.

I can totally understand, and speak from experience, as to why dieting doesn't work. At one point I was up to about 190 pounds (back in high school) and believed I was a huge cow. I wasn't. I was heavy, but I was wearing a size 14 and relatively healthy - by no means was I a cow. Anyway, I did something about it. I lost about 30 pounds. I got down to a size 8-10 and felt great! (Hence why that's my first big goal, and potential stopping point.) I didn't think I was done losing weight, but I had gotten to a point where I was comfortable again. I relaxed. Then all the weight came back, with an extra 15 pounds.

Remember how well Keto was going? I got down to 193!! I haven't been 193 since this time LAST YEAR. Then something happened...and at the start of IIFYM I was two pounds heavier than I was before I started Keto. I always thought it was me! I thought I was to blame. How could I  do this to myself? Again?! You want to know a secret though: It's not just me, and it's not you either.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but when I hear the word "binge" I think of an eating disorder. The binge/purge cycle that is associated with a true eating disorder of life threatening magnitude. That's not all it means though! My secret trips to Panda Express, ordering the two entreé meal because I knew it was going to be forever until I my resolve would break and I would have it again, that's a binge. No, it wasn't 7,000 calories, but it was a binge in every other sense of the word.

In theory, intuitive eating will help keep this from happening.

Feelings of Freedom

I know this will sound weird, given that I've only decided to ditch traditional diets a few days ago, but I feel so liberated. I'm excited to cook! I peruse recipes online and I'm thrilled thinking about what it will taste like, not calculating what the macros are for a small piece, and trying to plan my day around making it fit into my daily macros. I can pick any recipe I want and not worry about substituting ingredients because it has carbs. It's that feeling of elation, the last hurrah before a diet starts:

 Only I don't have that restrictive diet to look forward to on Monday. It's awesome. I even weighed myself today to see if I had actually lost weight or if it was just a random blip. I'm down 3 pounds since Sunday. It's weird.

For me, it's been about not restricting myself, therefore alleviating cravings, and eating only when I'm hungry. I'm not someone who eats when I'm sad, or when I'm upset. Nope, I eat when I'm bored. Watching Netflix, working on my novel, doing homework - all that mindless eating has really added on the pounds. I knew that was my problem, but I'd convince myself I really was hungry. Maybe I was, but I certainly wasn't hungry enough for all that I was eating. This feels like it will really stick...assuming it works.

Holy Shit!

On my first day of Intuitive Eating I had soda and salty pizza. I would expect some bloating, some water retention, and definitely no weight loss. I woke up this morning and weighed myself as usual and found I was down to 201.3! That's a loss of 1.5 pounds! I would have been thrilled to have weighed the same amount.

We'll see on Monday if my measurements match my weight loss or if I should be concerned.

Intuitive Eating: Day One

I am pleasantly surprised at how well today went! Breakfast was a protein shake. I'm not normally too hungry in the morning and it was nice to not force a heavy protein filled breakfast. Lunch was half of a small fruit tart that my coworker brought me. Dinner - and this truly amazed me - was Dominoes. I love pizza. I love it way too much. Normally I'd sit down and eat at least half of a medium pizza by myself. Plus parmesean bites. Oh, and some cinnamon sticks dipped in icing...and by some I mean half of them.

Tonight I had two pieces of pizza, four parmesean bites and two cinnamon sticks in frosting. Is that more than I needed? Actually, no. I feel pleasantly full, not uncomfortable and bloated like normal.

This is awesome.

Measurement Monday: August 26th, 2014

Due to being sick, I haven't really watched what I was eating. Let's consider this my intuitive eating practice run?

Abdomen: 44.75 (-1.05)
Waist: 34.25 (-1.25)
Bust: 44.25 (.25)
Chest: 37 (-1)
Hip: 46.5 (0)
Left Arm: 14.37 (0)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (-.05)
Left Calf: 16.25 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.5 (-.25)
Right Arm: 15 (.5)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (-.05)
Right Calf: 16 (-.25)
Right Thigh: 28 (-.25)
Neck: 14..37 (0)
Current Weight: 202.8 pounds (-1)
Inches lost: -3.4
Running total: -.47 inches, +6.8 pounds

Those inches are a pleasant surprise! I'm really excited to see this. It gives me hope that intuitive eating could work.