Measurement Monday: July 28th, 2014

I'm so frustrated! I'm hoping I'm just retaining water because I drank a ton of soda this weekend at a concert and ate salty greasy food. I did stay within my macros pretty much all week though. Not that it matters, apparently. 
Abdomen: 44.5 (.25)
Waist: 34.7 (.25)
Bust: 43.5 (-.25)
Chest: 37.75 (.25)
Hip: 46.5 (.25)
Left Arm: 14.5 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Left Calf: 16 (0)
Left Thigh: 27.75 (.25)
Right Arm: 14.125 (0)
Right Forearm: 11 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (.125)
Right Thigh: 28 (.5)
Neck: 14.5 (0)
Current Weight: 204.4 pounds (+1.2)
Inches lost:+1.375
Running total: -.085 inches, +8.4 pounds

UGH! I'll probably remeasure tomorrow to see how much of this is water weight. 

Celebration and Failure

Great news! I finished my novel. I didn't just finish a first draft, no, I have a completed, polished manuscript and sent it off to my beta readers. I was over the moon! Now I've always been food motivated (does that make me a dog?)

So I went out to celebrate and bought myself a chocolate malt. I bought the small, where as I'd normally by the large, but still. It was a pretty big cheat and set off cravings...so then I ordered pizza, because who cares? It was one day, and I had finished a project I'd been working on for three years! Again, I ate in moderation, only had one piece and two bread sticks. Normally I would've eaten half the bread sticks and half the pizza, so I consider this a small victory. The downside to only eating one piece? I ate the rest of the pizza over the next two days. Ugh.

I know all the tricks about rewards. Reward yourself with a new outfit, or new workout gear, or a pedicure. Yeah, whatever. That didn't work, obviously. Spend $3 on a shake and $7 on pizza and bread sticks, or a new outfit, workout gear, or a pedicure which tallies up to $20+. It's hard to decide justify that expense when you're on a budget. The $3 malt (or whatever small food token I would've picked otherwise) is so much less expensive and in that instant, with money tight, I can't justify shopping and pedicures.

Am I Skinny Yet?

I feel like I've been doing really well with not cheating, but I'm not seeing the results I want.

When I think back (okay, look back on my blog), I started keto on May 14th. In just over a month I've lost 10 pounds. I should be over the moon! 10 pounds in a month is a ton of weight for such a small amount of time (at least for a person my size). According to the internet (which is always right), this is what five pounds looks like:

While that woman may be a size zero, I'm going to assume she has normal adult hands. Just looking at how big it is in her hands, I feel accomplished because I've lost twice that. As great as that is, I haven't lost a single pants size. I have a pair of 14 Walmart jeans that barely fit last winter, and I'd like to fit into them again this fall, but at this point I'm feeling like it isn't ever going to happen. Since May, I'm down a half inch on my waist and hips, and up .125 inches on my abdomen. As someone who always loses from my stomach before anywhere else, I'm very frustrated.

This keto diet really seems to have altered how my body loses. I've only lost 4 inches across my body, despite my ten pound loss. Ugh. My follow up with my doc for my abdominal tear is on Monday. Hopefully this means I'll be back at the gym in July. If I'm still not allowed to work out after Monday, I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably cry and watch Disney Movies while drinking a giant chocolate shake.

Some day!

Measurement Monday: June 9th, 2014

Okay, so, I sucked this week. Not going well, Keto-wise, but I've noticed that I actually have a better handle on my hunger. Sure, I ate shitty food, but I ate it in reasonable quantities and really kept track of my hunger. I didn't eat just because it was there, I ate because I was hungry and stopped when I wasn't. Also, as a result of not eating well, I'm feeling a little bloated and my hands are so swollen I can barely get my engagement ring on. I am not a happy camper.
Abdomen: 44.5 (.5)
Waist: 34.5 (.5)
Bust: 43 (.5)
Chest: 37.5 (.5)
Hip: 46.5 (.5)
Left Arm: 13.75 (-.25)
Left Forearm: 11 (.25)
Left Calf: 16.25 (.25)
Left Thigh: 28 (.75)
Right Arm: 13.75 (0)
Right Forearm: 10.75 (0)
Right Calf: 16.25 (0)
Right Thigh: 28 (.25)
Neck: 14.75 (0)
Current Weight: 196 pounds (+1)
Inches lost: +3.75
Running total: -2.79 inches, 0 pounds

What is this bullshit? Basically, all the good I did when I did the egg fast? Yup, undid all of that. I'm surprised I haven't put on more weight, but all the inches are upsetting. I'm hoping it's mostly bloat. I did have pizza and (diet) soda last night. 

Fat Fast Update: Day 1

This was a terrible idea. I like bulletproof coffee (BPC). Today I've had it hot, and I've had it iced - about 4 cups worth so far. I am not a happy person. I don't typically drink very much caffeine. I am fidgety and I'm having some anxiety. I can't sit still, but I'm really not focused enough to accomplish anything.

I'm also starving.

Sometimes, when things aren't going well, and all I want to do is bake myself enough chocolate lava cake that I could eat the lava and live inside the remaining cake shell, I pose naked in front of the mirror. Occasionally it makes me realize that I've made progress and I'm looking better every day! Usually it makes me realize that soon I'm going to have to shop exclusively in the plus size section or resort to shopping in the women's section (not appealing to a 21 year old). Today, at this very moment, I'm so worked up that I want to grab my scale and smash it against my bathroom mirror.
Which would only result in this:

New plan: I get to eat food. I'm eating dinner tonight. Fuck it.